I started this blog at the beginning of 2010 and managed to fill it with 5 posts. Six if you want to count this one. You might ask why I failed at keeping this thing up to date and the honest reason is that 2010 sucked big time. It started with panic attacks, chest pains, heart palpitations. It continued on with headaches, eye aches, glasses, more panic and anxiety. This lead to the knowledge of herniated disc in my neck (4 to be exact)and then a car accident that left the curvature of my neck reversed. If that wasn’t even enough I have cancer and just had a piece of me removed leaving me feeling a little off balance. Hopefully I am cancer free now, but won’t know until sometime next week. Since the surgery I have to admit that over all I am feeling better though as of right now I am having some terrible chest pain. To top all of this off I am writing from a hospice room with my Wife’s dying grandfather who is dying.
I started off the year convinced I was dying myself. Yet I am here. I survived just to witness the death of someone else. Someone who while I did not get a great chance to come to know personally, but for years have seen the love and attention he paid to his family. Irv you will be missed and I’m sorry we could not have gotten to spend more time together. I am happy you got to see Emily get married…to me.
Which brings me to the one bright spot of my year. My marriage to my best friend Emily who I have known for more than 10 years and despite my many claims to just the opposite I have loved for just as long. We had a beautiful wedding in on a warm fall day. It was a day I will never forget.
Looking back on this year I realized much. Mostly that life really is short. At 28 I’m not exactly old, but I’ve noticed that I’m not going to stay in my twenties forever either. For many years I’ve laid claim to the great things I would accomplish. First and foremost would be to lose weight and get healthy and yet I have done very little for that goal. Now is the time. 2011 will be the year not just for health, but for so much more.
I spent a lot of the year wrestling with God. I suppose there was a part of me that was angry. Angry for making me go through this. So much anger and bitterness was in my heart most of the year, especially leading up to my surgery. It started to fade after the procedure as I had to time to heal and relax. I found myself diving into my Bible and the more I read the more I was comforted and remembered a thought I had long ago. I would rather be wrong in my beliefs as a Christian than in what the world has to offer. Granted some of my beliefs may not be anything they teach in Sunday school, but overall I’m think we strive for the same things.
so I say this that in 2011 I will dedicate myself to health. Not just of my body, mind, and soul. But also what little I can do in the world to make it a better place. I will seek to become whatever God asks of me and to serve with a smile and a gracious heart. Whether you are religious or not, Christian or not, I feel now that life is just way to short to not go about it without a smile on your face and purpose in your heart. So as I challenge my myself I challenge you to reach for your goals in the new year and to do our part in making the world a better place.
See you in 2011-Brandt